Everyone knows that attacking a man’s groin (unless paid to do so) is a cardinal sin and should never be done, even in a fight. One swift blow to a man’s gonads can drop him to the floor. Even the biggest and burly men have this weak point. Duke Nukem may claim that , but I bet a jab to his junk would make him cry like a 12 year old girl.
On this page you can find a list of the top ball-busting moves in video games. These range from the good, the bad to the downright weird. Grab a pillow, protect yourself and enjoy reading.
Mortal Kombat – Johnny Cage:
One of these most famous scrotum pounding moves on the list, Johnny Cage’s punch to the groin looks like it could disable the strongest of men. Cage even manages to pull off such a feat by doing the splits, thus proving that he is a eunuch and hates all mankind for their bulging sacks. The latest revamp of the series even made use of an x-ray function to show Cage’s move in all its glory.
God Hand - Ball Buster:
God Hand is one of those mental games that could not have come from any other country than Japan. The game has cross dressing Japanese circus freaks, combos that would make Donnie yen wince in pain and even a bit of heavy spanking. Hell, even the advert for the game is bonkers. One move that really made us wince is the ball buster; a stylish spinning kick that implants our hero’s foot firmly into our opponents tender area. Nice.
Tekken – Nina/Anna Williams:
These sisters are real bitches. Not only do they have several moves that would make your nut-sack shrivel up into your body, but they do them while wearing massive heels. Nina has a lunging move that kicks opponents in the groin, dropping them to their knees in the foetal position. Anna has a stamp where she grinds her long red boot into your tender parts, should you be male.
Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition – Makoto Ultra:
This rather androgynous character (it’s a lady apparently) is one of the most powerful characters in Street Fighter IV: AE. Makoto can dish out some horribly devastating moves and can even increase her power with the use of supers. Her ultra combo has spawned thousands of rage-quits from online battles and it all begins with a one epic punch to the nuts. Even all of Fei Long’s chi can’t help him to keep a straight face when this move connects.
Soul Calibur – Cassandra and Sophitia:
Unlike the Williams sisters, Cassandra and Sophitia are innocent princesses fighting for their kingdom. Breaking a few balls is more of a matter of self-defence, rather than a cruel way to abuse their enemies. What makes this worse than others on this list is the fact that weapons are used to inflict their pain. Swords and shields are both utilised to ensure that a man’s groin area is truly destroyed.
Manhunt -Sickle play time:
The element of surprise can be the most painful thing of all, especially when it involves getting a sickle thrust into your man-parts. Starkweather has a thing for snuff films and James Earl Cash, the game’s protagonist, clearly delivers here by swinging his sickle between his enemies legs, pulling back and tearing anything that’s dangling.
Blitz: The League II – Scrotum rupture:
While Johnny Cash’s split move may have an x-ray function, we never really get to see what happens to the man’s gonads. For you sick people out there that want to see this, Blitz: The League II is the game for you. The game’s “dirty hit” system allowed you to place a well-timed shot to an opponents balls, making them explode. This is then shown to you in a glorified CGI video. Be warned this one is not for the weak…
Kiron Ramdewar
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